


What I Cannot Do

by Inclore



Category: Tennis RPF
Genre: Andy is not an ass in all this even if it seems so, I just do not have the heart to elaborate, M/M, Roger is struggling with his feelings, Tommy is all cute
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-11
Updated: 2013-06-11
Packaged: 2017-12-14 16:35:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/839026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Inclore/pseuds/Inclore
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Roger had a dream about Andy after playing doubles with Tommy in Halle.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What I Cannot Do

1.  
It was in Halle, 2013 when he had that dream again.  
He and Tommy had just finished their first (and last) doubles match in Halle that day. And lying awake in darkness, Roger cannot say that he’s completely caught off guard by the dream coming back after six months.  
But he had hoped.  
He had hoped that with Tommy here, with that shiny smile and the subtle gentleness that seems to be exclusively reserved for him, the dream would just stay away. Or at least not hit this hard.  
But now, here he is, biting his lips as hard as he can, trying desperately not to wake Tommy up with whimpers and chokes and cries when all he can think of is Andy, and the dream he once hold so dear but will never come true. 

2.  
The last time he spoke to Andy was during the US Open, when Andy just came to him with a strange smile and “You know what? I’m done. ”  
It was one hour before the press conference. Andy told him early, earlier than everyone else on the tour. And he told him late, later than you would anyone that holds some sort of importance in your life.  
That’s when Roger knows he must move on.  
And he really, really wants to say that he’s doing fine. But the rolls in the toilet might disagree.

3.  
Roger had always known Andy would have the best life after tennis amongst their peers.  
He’s always like that. Centre of attention. A natural star.  
Andy’s almost a bouncing bundle of energy that can hardly ever stand still or keep quiet. But what draws Roger to him is the tenderness of the man behind all those sharp wits and quirk comments.  
Roger still remembers his eyes, looking at him so deeply, almost making him forget they are right in the middle of a press conference. And for years, he would give all to see those eyes shine with the utmost happiness in the world.  
But he hadn’t had the chance.

4.  
Tommy’s sleepy voice greets him when he goes back to the bedroom.  
When he climbs onto the bed, Tommy leans over and fumbles to give him a kiss. It is a sloppy one because of the darkness and because Roger is slightly distracted thinking his face must taste funny.  
But Tommy didn’t say anything. He just pulls Roger close, buries his head on his shoulder, and falls straight back to sleep.  
And Roger silently swears he will never dream that dream again.

5.  
But in the daylight, when Roger is brave enough to be honest, he has no idea if he can.  
He can play doubles with someone else. He can love again.  
He IS in love again.  
But the wish he made on the centre court of Wimbledon, the dream in which Andy stands on the same side of the net with him, celebrating, will never come true.

**Author's Note:**

> Roger and Tommy, they are just too cute together, I have a full video of the match to prove it. But Roger/Andy has always been my OTP so this one is really complicated.  
> Just like what I feel about the doubles pairing.  
> Yeah, they are cute. And yeah, I am a bit jealous.  
> And English is not my mother language so pls do tell if there's any mistakes.


End file.
